Raising girls vs. boys in India...

Last night a friend of ours, a non-traditional student - and someone who has endured school and is set to graduate next May, came by to interview me for an assignment on cultural diversity. Her Emic interview was to focus on 'differences and similarities in raising girls vs. boys' in a culture other than her own. Are they given similar or different expectations about how they will relate to their parents in adulthood? In what ways are a "good girl" and a "good boy" the same, and in what ways are they different?

Having lived in the US for some 34 years, and having/and still trying my darndest to be the best parent I can be, I found it intriguing as I stepped out of my American-Indian shoes and slipped back into Indian-heritage to reflect upon this rather interesting interview. It is true that I did not grow up in a traditional Indian home. I believe we were fairly exposed to western ways and my parents didn't lean too heavily on traditional ways of getting things done. So, in some ways, I had to look beyond how I was raised and look at some of bigger cultural values and norms that guide many Indian homes.

So, are children raised differently in India. Of course! I do believe that in a traditional home, outside of large metropolitan areas, roles for males and females are pretty well defined. India is after all a fairly collectivist nation. In the collectivist state, the smallest group of survival is the family. Each member of the family has a role and the importance of the group is more important than that of the self. It is this value that defines what boys can and should do and girls can and should do. Unfortunately, in trying to keep true to these values, parents often chose very narrow path for their children to follow. Straying from that path can lead to very serious and severe consequences not just for that one person, but for the entire group - often the family. Thus the concepts of saving face, harmony and consensus adds to pressure of conforming to the roles assigned.

Traditional parents raise children with the hope that their reward would be that their children would care for them in their old age. Unfortunately, there is still a notion that boys are less expensive to raise and care for, while girls are seen as expensive and a bane to the prosperity of the family. Kumar Nilendu, the general manager of Child Rights and You goes on to say, "In India, the girl child faces four heinous crimes – foeticide, child labour, child marriage and abuse. In addition, she suffers three key deprivations: she is deprived of an education, of the right to health and nutrition and the right to develop.”

Do I need to aplogize for the Indian culture? No! Cultures develop on their own, in isolation, and people arrive at norms, values and believes through trial and error. Cultures do appear strange to outsiders, but for the most part, they do work for that particular group of people.

Then, do I agree with these practices? No, and there are many in India who also believe as I do and are doing their best to change the notion that India is the 'land of the rising son.' One such example is the 'ladli' scheme in New Delhi where the state government intends to deposit Rs. 100,000 in the account of every girl child (of parents whose income does not exceed Rs. 100,000 a year) by the time she attains the age of 18. The goal of the ladli scheme is to ensure that no girl child is a burden on her parents. This, it is hoped, will prevent the menace of female foeticide. As Chief Minister Sheila Dikshit emphasized, "Every girl child is now a symbol of prosperity of her family."

On my recent trip to India, I was in several metropolitan areas. I saw many young men and women freely move about with little restriction. Women operating scooters and motorcycles, driving cars, socializing in clubs and pubs, and leading demonstrations. Woman politicians lead major parties, serve in several cabinets at every level of goverment and are slowly making their way into what would have been completely male bastions just a couple of decades ago.

Seeing all of this, it would be hard to think of India as anything but an egalitarian society. But, the truth is that the deep roots of hierarchy are hard to uproot. Although all of the signs exist that society is slowly but surely moving in that direction. I hope so. But disturbing statistics do exist. I just saw a report that 40% of the current female domestic help in Mumbai are young girls ages, 8 to 16. Children who have followed in the footsteps of their mothers to help ease the ever-growing demand for domestic help in large metropolitan areas of India.

I do believe that everyone should have an equal chance to express themselves and be who they wish to become. I wish India the very best. It is truly an amazing nation.

Wow - I did not mean to get that serious. Last night was a mellow night. I did get to the gym and had an exceptionally hard workout. Maybe that helped cleared my mind as I sat to do the interview. Or was I mellow because I did not have the opportunity to get too excited at the way the Minnesota Twins were faring at the hands of the New York Yankees. The final score was lopsided. The Twins lost - end of story (#1/5).

Until the next time!

To advertise or not to advertise

Advertise: 1: to make something known to: NOTIFY 2a: to make publicly or generally known b: to announce publicly esp. by printed notice or a broadcast c: to call public attention to esp. by emphasizing desirable qualities so as to arouse a desire to buy or patronize (Merriam-Webster College Dictionary).

This is my latest dilemma. My one and only follower (a loyal follower, I might add) suggests that I advertise my blog on Facebook. I wonder! I wonder what desirable quality should I emphasize? Or, is there one that would make folks buy any arguments I may put forth or patronize an establishment or thought process that I may have. That, dear reader(s) is causing me great consternation. I am human, make mistakes, err in spelling and grammar and generally ramble. Are these all qualities that I should hang out there like dirty laundry?

I wonder if people come and then leave, what kind of message would that send? Knowing the strange and convoluted mind that occupies the large balding sphere atop my face, I may drawn any number of conclusions. Will that lead to acid reflux? I already experience that. Possibly make more powerful acid? Oh my – a picture of hole-ridden stomach is very unappetizing. I better skip that thought. Or, will it lead to a fall down that deep precipice of no return, where I languish for days on end wondering what is this blogging all about? And what good do inane blogs bring to the general populace?

Then again, as my faithful reader(s) states – blog and they shall come. Maybe there is fame and fortune in blogging. A large and faithful audience that clamors for more. Picture me, sitting at my laptop, at 1:36 a.m. plucking away at the keyboard dispensing pearls of wisdom, all glistening and strung in such dazzling fashion that the faithful will have but no choice but to log on at 5:38 a.m. and soak in what pops up as they seek and find the link from their favorites (I assume they have all added it to their favorites).

POP! What was that? Oh, just a bubble of reality bursting. I lunch hour is up and I better get going. But, I can’t do that without telling you all (including you, my one and only faithful follower) that the local team – playing their 163 game of season, did pull off a miracle the only way they know how! The Twins came back, time and again, from depths of despair to take one away from the Detroit Tigers. The thousands that attended and the more of us who followed the game on our televisions, radio sets and computers came away ecstatic, drained and thrilled that we could fight yet another day! Today, the Twins are in New York City playing their first game of the best of five series against the much-hated NY Yankees. On paper, the Twins appear to be a push-over. No one gave them a chance three weeks ago, let alone this past week. Today, they have made us proud. I hope they keep on winning like their predecessors did in 1987 and 1991. Go Twins!

Yesterday I did try and upload a picture of the Minneapolis City Hall, but was not able to. However, this morning, I was able to 'sneak' in a picture of the Minneapolis City Council Chamber. The city, with a population of about 380,000 (St. Paul, our other Twin City has 240,000)is divided into 13 Wards and each ward is represented by a full-time City Council member. They are compensated pretty well and make about $68,000 a year (or thereabouts).

We also have a Mayor who works alongside the Council. Since we have a 'weak' Mayor, strong Council format, all Mayoral initiatives have to be passed by the City Council. In other words, to get anything done here, it is imperative that the Mayor and Council get along. Fortunately, there are 12 democrats one one Green party member (more left leaning and liberal than even the democrats) on the Council and this allows our democratic Mayor to work fairly well with them.

As I mentioned in my blog yesterday, the Cities are agog with sports mania and during my walk through the skyways of Minneapolis (a post for another day), I saw many folks with team jerseys and other paraphernalia - most probably set to go to the game at the Metrodome. The dome is only four blocks from here and my bus goes directly past it. I am hoping that the bus I catch at 3:46 p.m. will make its way through the hordes headed for the dome at that time. On second thoughts, I don't think that should be problem as most Minnesotans are pretty docile folks - a somber value that they have hung on to from their Scandinavian heritage. I guess the Swedes are wilder than the Norwegians - but only by teeny-tiny bit. You could never tell - unless your were a native like Garrison Keillor.

Until tomorrow when I hope to update this blog with the good news that the Twins won their one playoff game (who thought that after 162 games that Minnesota and Detroit would be tied with the exact number of wins and losses)! And for those of you (I guess I have only one follower) interested in American football - Minnesota Vikings beat their hated next state rivals, the Green Bay Packers 30-23 at the dome last night!

Until then!

Sports musings

We are a bunch of fair weather fans, here in Minnesota. Minneapolis does have some very decent professional teams that fare from fair to middling - they always seem to take you to the edge, but never that leap into that other class of winners. There was such a string of success some 22 years ago and then again four years later. Ever since then, faithful fans hang on to hope that their team will again make a run for fame, fortune and community pride.

I bring this up because these past couple of days it has been everything sports around town. The Minnesota Twins (baseball) performed very well by sweeping another team in their division to tie the top team and forcing a play off game that will be played tomorrow to decide the division champs. Then, the Univ. of Minnesota played and lost to Wisconsin (in American football)in a close game that they could have won if the all the balls bounced their way. I guess they were one bounce short. Then, yesterday, Sunday, we had the Twin Cities Marathon - one the nation's prettiest marathons with the course running past several of lakes that dot our landscape. And today is the biggest game of all - the Monday Night Football game between the Minnesota Vikings and their arch-rival The Green Bay Packers. What makes it so interesting is that the quarter for Minnesota, Brett Favre, played for many years for the Green Bay team and the bane of many a Viking season playoff hopes. But this time around, fans are rejoicing that he is our side and that they will beat the Green Bay Packers.

Who knows how many of my students will show up for class today? Who knows how baseball fans will be present at tomorrow's class? Regardless, as much as I would like to put my feet up and watch both games, I guess I am being paid (and paid well, mind you) to teach and that is exactly what I plan to do. Well, okay, I will have the game updates on my computer and I will also get updates from the many students who do have laptops in class.

Sunday was supposed to the last game the Twins played in the Teflon baggie (they are moving to a brand new stadium about 1.5 miles or 2.5 km for this place) - the Metrodome and there were big celebrations. But the team did manage to tie, so there will be one more game tomorrow and that will decide where the teams play. The only way they will play again here is if they win and go on to division finals. Then they may have one or several games depending on how they play/win.

I am off to class.

Acknowledment

I have wanted to do this for so long, but I never seemed to find the time to sit and pen a few thoughts down to paper. I have been accused by my spouse of spending hours dispensing advice to the forlorn on many a chat site on the Web but never to share with others in general. So, at the outset, I do have two people to thank. First an acknowledgment to my spouse, Cindy, for nagging me over the years to put these thoughts on paper/the web; and second, my dear sister, Radha, who over the past few years has blossomed into an amazing scribe, blogging her thoughts and her recipes for her loyal fans and has truly become my inspiration!

This blog will be of random thoughts about this wonderful area that I live in – Minnesota. Actually, more about Minneapolis, the largest city in the state which shares the metro area with St. Paul, the capital city, and some 80 odd suburbs. I do live in Shoreview, a St. Paul suburb of about 24,000 and commute in to Minneapolis by car and bus – a distance of about 18 miles or approximately 29 km.

You will find thoughts, ideas, and random rambles with an occasional spicy tip or
recipe (ones that I will also share with my sister). Hopefully, I will continue to blog on regular basis and at the same time try and entice some of you to come visit the great metro area of Minneapolis - St. Paul and keep us company.
I work for the largest local government in the state – the City of Minneapolis and also have found great pleasure (and a decent second income) in teaching at a couple of community colleges in the northern suburbs of the metro area.